Terminal Illness and What To Do
We are all aware that we will die, we just don’t know when. Not knowing when allows us to move through life unencumbered by serious thought of our own mortality. Indeed it is this very ability to repress the inevitability of our own death that allows us to plan and take action rather than be paralyzed with fear.
If we become ill we may consider, fleetingly, the possibility that our life could be at risk, but it isn’t until a physician gives us a terminal diagnosis that we realize how unprepared we are to die. Initially we are stopped in our tracks, ultimately we are forced to develop a new relationship with ourselves – and it doesn’t happen overnight.
Kubler-Ross became famous for bringing death and dying into open discussion with her stages of grief. However, many feel the stages are more applicable to the process of accepting a terminal diagnosis. The stages are listed below.
If we become ill we may consider, fleetingly, the possibility that our life could be at risk, but it isn’t until a physician gives us a terminal diagnosis that we realize how unprepared we are to die. Initially we are stopped in our tracks, ultimately we are forced to develop a new relationship with ourselves – and it doesn’t happen overnight.
Kubler-Ross became famous for bringing death and dying into open discussion with her stages of grief. However, many feel the stages are more applicable to the process of accepting a terminal diagnosis. The stages are listed below.
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After a terminal diagnosis you may have difficulty relating to your friends and family. Because you don’t know what to say you often say nothing, which causes spontaneity to fade. A better option is to stumble over your words – and know that it will get easier.
For a gateway to information that can help you with information about death, dying, grief, and loss -- but also about caregiving or living with cancer, chronic illness, and various kinds of aging (both frail and healthy) click here: comfortdying.com/index.htm
For a gateway to information that can help you with information about death, dying, grief, and loss -- but also about caregiving or living with cancer, chronic illness, and various kinds of aging (both frail and healthy) click here: comfortdying.com/index.htm
Consider an end-of-life consultation with your physician
According to a Wall Street Journal article new Medicare guidelines allow doctors to get reimbursed for holding voluntary end-of-life consultations with patients during annual medical checkups.
The new Medicare rule says advance-care planning includes a discussion of setting up an advance directive that would tell doctors what to do if the patient is too ill to make medical decisions. Doctors and patients can also discuss "whether or not the physician is willing to follow the individual's wishes as expressed in an advance directive," it says.
Road Trip Over Cancer Treatment
A 90-year-old Michigan woman who was diagnosed with cancer last year has decided to take an epic road trip across the country rather than undergo treatment.
The new Medicare rule says advance-care planning includes a discussion of setting up an advance directive that would tell doctors what to do if the patient is too ill to make medical decisions. Doctors and patients can also discuss "whether or not the physician is willing to follow the individual's wishes as expressed in an advance directive," it says.
Road Trip Over Cancer Treatment
A 90-year-old Michigan woman who was diagnosed with cancer last year has decided to take an epic road trip across the country rather than undergo treatment.
End of Life Care and Options
We have found a guide published by Nursing&Simmons that provides excellent information about end of life care and the often difficult decisions that need to be made. It is important to understand that without advanced planning, individuals can spend their final days in settings receiving care they would not have otherwise chosen. Research shows that when individuals discuss their end of life options with their families and care providers, the quality of their care improves, and the cost decreases.
If you are interested in more information regarding care options, costs and coverage trends check out the end of life care guide here
If you are interested in more information regarding care options, costs and coverage trends check out the end of life care guide here
Consider hospice for final weeks not final days
Unfortunately hospice is usually considered as a “last resort” and used too late to provide the maximum benefit to both patient and family.
Hospice services are designed to help with emotional, social and spiritual needs of dying patients as well as their physical needs like controlling pain. Hospice also helps the families and close friends of patients handle and deal with the stress and emotional trauma of losing those close to them.
Studies have shown that hospice is most often used for only 3 days or less when a week or more would much better service both patient and family.
A discussion prior to the need for hospice care covering how aggressive a treatment as well as life prolonging procedures should be used between patients, physicians and family is extremely important. Managing life expectancy with terminally ill patients needs to be covered in order make the right decisions for all concerned.
Hospice services are designed to help with emotional, social and spiritual needs of dying patients as well as their physical needs like controlling pain. Hospice also helps the families and close friends of patients handle and deal with the stress and emotional trauma of losing those close to them.
Studies have shown that hospice is most often used for only 3 days or less when a week or more would much better service both patient and family.
A discussion prior to the need for hospice care covering how aggressive a treatment as well as life prolonging procedures should be used between patients, physicians and family is extremely important. Managing life expectancy with terminally ill patients needs to be covered in order make the right decisions for all concerned.
Create a Website to connect family and friends and keep them aware and up to date when a serious health event occurs
Often it is difficult if not impossible to keep everyone aware of what is happening. CaringBridge provides the opportunity to do so and also allows friends and family to communicate back, through a guestbook, their thoughts and support.
For more information and to create such a Website at no cost go to www.caringbridge.org/
CaringBridge is a charitable non-profit organization.
For more information and to create such a Website at no cost go to www.caringbridge.org/
CaringBridge is a charitable non-profit organization.
Strong Back/Soft Front
Joan Halifax (Being with Dying, 2008) refers to having a strong back and a soft front when confronted with death. With a strong back you are able to move into your discomfort, and with a soft front you can speak from and listen to others with your heart. By being strong and soft, spontaneity, sincerity, and physical affection can return to your relationships.
Hopes are Goals
Preparing to die is not in conflict with how you prepare to live. In both cases there are things that you hope to do or say. If you think about it, your hopes are really goals. There is always more you can hope to understand, communicate, enjoy, and love.
Bringing the Family Together
Each relationship within a family is unique. For the person who is dying: Openly communicate with everyone even if it is uncomfortable. By being open family members and friends will find a sense of purpose and be better able to support you and each other. If there are estranged family members, encourage them to come forward and join in activities. For those who have a loved one who is dying: Reconciliation doesn’t have to mean unconditional acceptance or forgiveness, but it does allow for a reconnection, which is healing for everyone concerned.