Goals to Set Before the Wedding Now That You're Engaged

After you get engaged, everything starts to get crazy. You and your partner are scrambling to plan things for your wedding, and between choosing the cake and flowers, finding custom bridesmaid dresses, working on losing that extra holiday weight, producing & editing the wedding day video by viddedit and everything else you have to do to get ready, it seems you’ve taken away from the whole point of the celebration – focusing on the two of you!

Even if you do manage to find time to spend together, it might seem like that time is spent discussing the details of the wedding and everything else you still have to do. Although it’s important to talk about and plan your wedding, it’s also important to find time to relax together, just enjoying each other’s company and talking about your future.

Now that you’re engaged, it’s important to start planning your life together. You’re going to be sharing all the ups and the downs side-by-side, making sacrifices for your partner’s dreams and having sacrifices made for yours. You’ll have to adjust your schedule to include another person (or persons, if you and/or your partner already has kids), and you may even have new dreams that involve bringing new people in your life.

An important part of planning a life together is setting goals as a couple. You should always keep individual goals and share them with each other so you can support and encourage each other along the way, but setting goals as a couple can strengthen your relationship, give you something to work toward when you’re feeling down, and give you something to celebrate together. Setting goals will help keep your marriage moving forward.

​Tips for Setting Goals as a Couple

The process of setting goals as a couple is a lot like setting goals as an individual, but because there are two people involved with differing opinions and values, it can sometimes take more time and effort to decide on what goals you have and how to achieve them. Here are some tips to help you set goals together as a couple:

1. Make sure your individual and couple goals don’t conflict.
2. Discuss where you want to be (as a couple) in the next few months, years, and even decades.
3. Make sure your goals are something you both want and value.
4. Write your goals -- and a plan for achieving them -- down on paper.
5. Keep track of your progress and celebrate the milestones.

​Goals You Should Set Together

There are so many different goals you can set together as a couple, but you want to focus on those that  can help you strengthen your marriage, have some fun, and be more comfortable in life. 

Goals to Strengthen Your Marriage – Marriage is wonderful, but it also takes work. Continually setting goals to strengthen your marriage can help you nurture and cultivate it, making it what you want it to be. Some goals you might set to help strengthen your marriage could include praying together daily, leaving love notes for each other, taking a vacation just the two of you each year, or reading a marriage book every year together.

Other goals could include doing something new together every month, having regular date nights, volunteering together, showing appreciation for each other every day, or being intimate on a regular basis, even when life gets crazy. There are so many different ways you can strengthen your marriage and work on making it what you want it to be.

Goals to be More Comfortable – Comfort can mean a number of different things to different people, but in this case let’s refer specifically to financial and physical comfort. Sit down and make goals for budgeting or saving for retirement. Make it a goal to improve your credit score, so you can buy your first home together. You can make a goal to learn more about financial investments and how to get started, or commit to educating yourselves about the different kinds of life insurance policies out there and how investing in one could help you and your family in the future.

You could make a goal to save for a down payment on the new house or pay cash for a brand-new car; whatever you decide, make it a point to come together to set goals for where you want to be financially and how you plan to get there.  

Goals to Have Some Fun – Although marriage takes work, it can also be a lot of fun! You don’t have to make all your goals something serious or for the purpose of strengthening your marriage (besides, sometimes just having fun together is all you need to do precisely that!). Get creative and throw fun goals in the mix, like visiting to a foreign country, making a dish you’ve always wanted to try, taking up a sport together, learning how to paint, or visiting all 50 states.

Not all of your goals have to be long-term or “someday” goals, either. You can set fun goals that you can accomplish next week or even this weekend. You could try throwing darts at paint filled balloons or eat at that new restaurant you’ve been curious about. Try paddle boarding or race down a zipline – whatever it is you choose to do, have fun doing it together. The happiest couples are those who know how to enjoy one another and make situations of all sorts fun, as long as they’re together. 

What goals do you and your fiance share?